GERARD O'NEIL Stuff.co.nz 18/11/2014
LINK TO ORIGINAL ARTICLE: TO PRINT
CLASS SYSTEM: The leg horn and selfie class proposals
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The list includes: Standard Economy, Economy Plus, Economy Minus, Premium Economy, "Premium", Business, Domestic Business, Euro Business, Regional Business, International Business, All-Business, and First Class.
Recently during a long haul flight, (while trying to find new and exciting ways to relieve the pain in my legs), I began to contemplate other classes airlines might like to introduce to improve passenger comfort. Here is my list:
Leg (shoe) horn class: Airlines could help passengers to complete the near impossible manoeuvre of squeezing their legs between some seats by offering them the use of a device similar to an oversized shoehorn. When you eventually manage to position yourself in this type of seat, your feet can only touch the floor if your knees are bent in one direction, then the back of the seat in front could have a 2cm indentation to accommodate the knees bent in that direction.
If your neighbour's seat had a similar indentation, but in the opposite direction, then every half an hour passengers could exchange places and knee positions.
Selfie class: As it seems to be the fashion for some passengers to arrive in their seats and immediately take selfies to send to their friends before electronic devices need be turned off, then perhaps such passengers could be allocated seats whereby the back of the seat in front is a mirror.
Sailor class: In this class, the seats could be removed and replaced with tiered bunks, similar to ones sailors use on warships and submarines. The advantage of this system is that just as in submarines, bunks are placed in non-important spaces such as above torpedoes, on airplanes, bunks could be incorporated in non-utilised spaces such as above toilets, the galley or even above the suitcases in the hold.
Hibernation class: Hollywood seems to have solved the problem of extended space travel by having astronauts hibernate in deep sleep chambers. Airlines could adopt the same method for long haul flights. For the airlines, there would be the added advantage of doing away with the need for toilets and the galley.
Beautiful people class: Most frequent fliers have at some time travelled on a plane with someone famous (the beautiful people of this world) but never get to sit beside them. In this class, the seats would be facing each other with a table in between. Then if someone famous boards the flight, they would not be able to turn their backs on follow passengers, or ignore your observations about their latest film or sports attributes if they were lucky enough to be allocated a seat across from you.
The table would provide a great support for the innumerable items you would ask them to autograph during the next 14 hours.
Odor-free class: Let's be honest, everyone has passed wind sometime during a flight or discovered they have smelly feet when they have taken off their shoes. In this class, passengers would be issued with suits similar to astronauts but without the helmet. All offending odors would be sucked away via a hose connected to a vent in the overhead lockers.
Bat class: Passengers who want to sleep could be issued with a special heavy-duty sleeping bag attached to an overhead rail. Once asleep, the passenger would not be disturbed until their final destination even if that involved a connecting flight. In such cases, the sleeping passenger would be pushed along the rail on to a connecting one in the 'jet bridge" which would extend through the transit lounge, across the next jet bridge and on to their next flight.
| nzjt9 hours ago
upper class class, only those from the right side of tracks are allowed in there so we can discuss our Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and share portfolios
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| Garth Vadar1 day ago
All I want is a little more leg and seat room. As I've aged, I've got taller and wider. Those seats are designed for 10 year olds, not adults. Quite like the idea of a sleeper class - could be like train sleepers. Happy to pay extra, but can't afford business (unless work paying, of course). The AirNZ skybed's look good, but still quite cramped if two travelling.
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| nzjt9 hours ago
if you are getting taller after the age of 22 I seriously suggest you contact your local health professional for a check up, all is not well there.
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| Yeti1 day ago
How about a class where there is enough room, where you are not cramped in like sardines and there was sufficient legroom BUT you paid standard economy for the pleasure of using the service. Like Business class for normal people. Who knows if airlines started treating their customers as people and not annoying freight this soty of thing could take off?
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| ianjohnson1 day ago
Hey how about Get Laid class? Maybe pass on the illustration for that one, though.
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| SleepyRiver1 day ago
Yip, I think a special plane with no seats, you load passengers on in special 'coffin' like pods, in a stacking system. You are sedated before traveling. You are hooked up to a monitor and alarm system so the flight doctor can deal with you if your vitals go a bit mad during the flight. There are no windows on this plane, its very simple and all the money is put into the passenger maintenance. There is no need for a flight crew or meals, you are loaded on, loaded off at destination, given a check and have to wait in and 'wake up' centre. all your passports and bags are ready for you as you leave. All done there you go, no need for that uncomfortable 27hrs of hell every time you want to fly to the UK or wherever. There will still be the normal flights too so you have the choice. (patent pending ST2014).
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| scarlett1 day ago
Hey, you stole my idea lol. I've been saying for years and years that airlines should be doing this! Added advantage of not having to listen to screaming babies and badly behaved children.
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| thebadger1 day ago
I am looking forward to the new 'Stack them like Cordwood" class in the US (http://www.theonion.com/articles/united-airlines-exploring-viability-of-stacking-th,2841/)
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| Dr Zoidberg2 days ago
No complaining class: This is a class for passengers who just get on the plain to go from A to Z and don't complain about leg room or smelly people or noise because there are more important things in the world to concern themselves with.
TO PRINT |
