The rise of the techno zombies
GERARD O'NEIL 01/12/2014
LOGGED ON: Gerard's nephews told him their friends don't
need to visit anymore as everyone's connected online.
need to visit anymore as everyone's connected online.
Due to the extreme risk for both mother and unborn child if my wife became pregnant, we opted not to have children.
When my sisters-in-law's two boys were born my wife became very attached to them, and when a few years later my sister-in-law was killed in a road accident, we became our nephews' foster parents.
When the boys arrived we laid down some rules related to technology use. Video games could only be played in the weekends, and no Facebook or other social network sites until after they turned 16. We also installed a filter on our PC.
We set up our PC in the living room, meaning that even if someone was on the computer at least the family was together in the same space. Things worked well until a well-meaning relative decided to give the boys a laptop.
Of course, the boys then began an intensive campaign for the installation of wifi. We compromised. I bought an internet connection box and 20 metres of cable. If the boys wanted to use the internet in their room, they had to unwind the cable. Laziness to organise the cable meant that they usually ended up using their laptop in the living room as well.
Things were going fine, until one day the boys came running downstairs shouting that the neighbour had installed wifi without blocking their signal. For the next few days, the boys locked themselves in their room using the neighbour’s internet.
They soon drifted back to the living room however, as the neighbour’s connection was very slow.
When the boys were old enough, they began after-school jobs. One of the things they liked to spend their hard-earned money on was mobile phone upgrades.
Then one day it happened - they both upgraded their phones at the same time, their new mobiles being internet capable. From that, moment things changed.
Whereas once there had been a steady flow of their friends visiting, it became rare for anyone to appear. When I asked about this, I was informed that no-one needed to visit anymore because everyone is connected to WhatsApp.
When we used to visit the boys' grandparents (a seven-hour car trip), part of the pleasure of the journey was the conversations we would have to pass the time. Now the trip is done in silence. All we hear is the constant tapping of phone keys from the backseat.
Whereas once when we reached our destination the boys divided their time equally between each set of grandparents, now they remain only a few hours with my parents-in-law before they demand to be taken to the city to visit their other grandparents. This is because my parents-in-law live on a farm with no internet and only sporadic mobile connection.
The moment the boys wake up they begin tapping on their phones. When they go to the bathroom they are tapping on their phones, when they have breakfast they are tapping on their phones. When they are at work, they are probably tapping on their phones, because when they come home from work and until they go to bed, they are tapping on their phones!
This week things reached a flashpoint.
It all began last weekend, when to celebrate a special family event we decided to go to a restaurant. On the way to the car we asked the boys if, for just a couple of hours, they could put their phones away. They agreed, providing they could just send a last message to their friends.
They must have been long messages because all we heard all the way to the restaurant was the tap, tap of phone keys.
At the restaurant, the boys finally put their phones away. Things went well until our meal arrived. Then to our amazement one of the boys whipped out his phone, took a photo of his plate and in an instant sent it and a message to somebody.
After the main course, the other nephew excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he had not returned after 15 minutes I began to get worried so got up to look for him. I found him outside the restaurant tapping on his phone.
On Tuesday, I entered a shop to buy something only to find the young shop assistant behind the counter tapping away on her phone. I needed to wait until she had finished before she attended to me.
She was showing me what I wanted, when the response to her message came. To my astonishment, she left me talking in mid-sentence to begin responding to the message. I walked out of the shop.
Then later in the week, I visited a company. When I went to leave, the security gate did not open. After waiting over a minute, I backtracked to the guard box thinking perhaps no-one was there. I discovered the guard so engrossed in his mobile that he was not monitoring his cameras.
On Saturday at lunchtime, we sat down at the table to eat. My wife asked my youngest nephew to put his phone away. He did, but only after he sent off a couple of last messages. I exploded and demanded to know what he was writing.
“Nothing,” he responded.
“Who are you writing to?”
“Nobody,” he said.
To all the “nobodies” my nephews are communicating with about “nothing”, my wife and I would like to invite you to physically appear at our next family meal. Only if you come, you will be a “somebody” and we will talk about “something”.
Good topics of conversation could be the importance of physical presence in relationships or the way the world used to function before the internet.
| hmmm14 hours ago
Did you not wonder why the boys find that talking to nobody about nothing is far more interesting than talking to you ?
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| LupinS16 hours ago
Of course one wonders that if you had simply allowed fair access for fair rules based around wise usage, rather than restricting usage - if they would be more wise with their use of devices and entertainment mediums. One also wonders if you restrict their use of books, of which all the same criticisms could be applied.
Of course one also thinks you should realize that the way we communicate has changed and, baring technological advancement or meltdown, won't be changing back. Get over it. |
| HoleInTheGround22 hours ago
Great piece, and I really liked the way you parents handled this all, and are presumably, hopefully still handling it. I thought you were pretty reasonable and tolerant - it IS 2014, at the end of the day, and this is where its currently at. Far better to be connected to peers, than have your parents turn you into an outsider, an outcast - I reckon being included in your peers at the young ages is vital to forming ones future personality. Not how the connection is happening - just that it IS.
I hope to handle things like you did when my turn comes with kids that age, if tech is still like it is now. Or maybe we will all have our phone chips power and antennae wired into our heads by then :) |
| NYM22 hours ago
be firmer with your kids and their internet/personal device use. the internet isn't demon possession, it's a useful, social tool, and like anything, it can be abused.
blaming the existence of internet on your nephew's rudeness is a bit 'old man yelling at a cloud', and trust me, you won't get through to them if you go at it like the internet is evil. |
| Jack Herer24 hours ago
I see techno zombies walking around Sydney all the time.
They cross the road while looking at their phones. Even saw a guy try to take a going - up escalator, when it was going down. |
| Phil Brookes1 day ago
Good article, even though I use it I wish technology would rewind 20 years, the days when I would ring someone on the home phone and plan a meeting for days later and they would show , or little things like looking forward to the Sunday movie before you could just download it ,
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| HammerPants24 hours ago
You're forgetting all the bad things though.
At 35 I'm old enough to remember pre-mobile phone life. Arranging to meet at the movies at 9pm only to have half the group not show, so you hang around waiting and they never arrive....wasting everyones time. Plus it's the little things like being able to text the wife that you're held up so she doesn't worry It's not all bad. |
| mr magoo1 day ago
So set your children some rules and stick to them ? This is a problem you have allowed to develop.
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